Culture Shock

Ren checked his watch for the fifth time this hour.

"You don't need to be so nervous, but remember to take off your shoes when you go inside Hana's house," said Sora. "And sit with your legs under you." He paused at the crosswalk.

"I know that. My Mom always makes me do that," said Ren.

Sora nodded. "And don't forget to buy a gift."

"It's not her birthday. Why do I need a gift?" asked Ren. "I'm just going for lunch."

"I know, but—" Sora said.

"Sora, Hana's my friend. Bringing a gift is strange." Ren interrupted him.

"I know, but it's normal in Japan to bring a gift when you visit someone's house," said Sora. "Something small will do, like food. There is a dango store at the station." He pointed to a small building just across the street.

"Dango?" Ren asked.

"A rice dumpling," said Sora.

Ren shook his head.

"Yes, but you have to be polite when you first meet her parents," said Sora. "Polite Japanese is different from regular Japanese."

"Really? What should I say?" asked Ren.

Sora smiled. "Honjitsu wa omaneki itadaki, arigatou gozaimasu."

"What does that mean?" Ren scratched his head. He repeated the phrase.

The light turned green, and they crossed the street. "It means 'Thank you for inviting me.' Don't worry. It's very polite," Sora said.

"I don't understand what the big deal is," said Ren. "I'm just going to visit her."

"This is the first time, and you are going for lunch," said Sora. "You want her parents to like you, right? When they give you food, you have to accept it and say it's delicious."

"I do? What if they give me something I don't like or I'm full? What if I forget to say anything?" asked Ren.

"Then you can say, 'No, thank you,'" said Sora.

"My mother never told me this," said Ren.

"Maybe she forgot." Sora was smiling, but trying to hide it.

Ren narrowed his eyes.

They stopped by a small store next to the station. Ren bought ten rice dango skewers. The man behind the counter wrapped them in a special paper and put them into a bag with the store name on it.

"They look delicious," said Ren.

"Momo eats some almost every day," said Sora. "I don't know why she isn't bigger. She has dance class today, so she can't come. I have to go to cram school, too."

Sora waved goodbye at the station, and Ren got on the train. He took off his backpack and sat down. The train wasn't very crowded.

"It's only two stops to Hana's house. I can practice Sora's phrase," said Ren. He repeated the polite sentence. "There are many polite phrases. I can't forget them."

Ren heard the announcer. "Next stop. Please exit on the right. Don't forget your bags when you leave the train."

The doors opened, and Ren rushed out of the train. "I almost missed my stop," he said. He reached for his IC card and stopped. "Oh no! I forgot my backpack."

He turned around. The train was leaving the station.

"Wait!" he shouted, but the train didn't stop. Ren trembled. "Oh no! I had ten thousand yen, and my IC card was in my backpack. I can't even leave the station. Someone will steal it. And eat all the dango."

He ran to the station office and pounded on the door. A station staff member with gray hair and tired eyes opened the door. "Yes? How can I help you?"

"Excuse me. I left my backpack on the last train. My wallet and IC card were in it." Ren gripped the side of the window.

"I see, sir. One moment, please." The station staff picked up a phone. "What color was the backpack?" he asked.

"Blue." Ren stamped his foot. Hurry!

"What time was the train?" the staff asked.

"Twelve oh five," said Ren. Come on! I can't lose the dango.

"Which train car were you on?" he asked.

Ren closed his eyes and counted. "The third one, I think." This is taking too long.

"Okay. Thank you," said the station staff.

Ren shook his head. "Why are you asking me those questions? My backpack is probably gone. I have no money."

"It's okay. We'll try to find it." The station staff dialed a number.

"Really?" asked Ren.

The station staff started speaking. "Hello. Can you check the third car? A student lost his blue backpack. Thank you." He hung up the phone.

Ren stared at the station staff. What was he doing? "My backpack's probably gone."

"Your backpack should be fine," said the staff. "Give us a few moments. We have to check."

Ren looked at his watch. "I'm going to be late for lunch," he groaned. Hana will be really angry. Why did this have to happen now?

"What was inside the backpack?" the staff member asked.

"A package of dango, my wallet, some homework." Ren sighed.

The phone rang. The staff member picked it up. "You did. Great. Can you put it on the return train? I'll call the staff at the station."

He hung up the phone.

"Can I call my mother to pick me up?" Ren asked. This is hopeless.

"We found your backpack, sir," said the station staff. "A staff member will bring it back on the next train."

"Huh?" said Ren. "You found it? Wow." It's probably empty.

"Come with me. We'll go meet the train." The station staff came out of the office and walked to the platform. He looked at his watch. "It's one o'clock. The train should arrive in five minutes."

Ren made a fist. "Really?" Can it be that easy?

The station staff smiled.

The train pulled up, and a younger station staff member stood by the doors. She held a blue backpack in her hands as she got off. Why did she come all the way back to give me my backpack?

"Is this the student who lost his backpack?" she asked.

"Yes," said the staff member. "What is inside the backpack?"

The woman opened the backpack. "There is a wallet with a ten-thousand-yen bill, a package of dango and some school books," she said.

"That's right," said Ren. His mouth was open.

"Does your wallet have ID?" asked the woman.

"I have my student identification with my IC card in my wallet," said Ren.

"May I check it?" she asked.

Ren nodded.

The woman held up Ren's wallet. "Yes, the pictures are the same. What is your name?"

"Ren," Ren said.

"Here you are." She gave Ren his backpack. "Sorry for the trouble."

Ren took his backpack and held it close to him. "Thank you for everything. I was really worried." This is impossible. Everything's here.

"We are happy to help. Please enjoy your day." The two staff members bowed to Ren. The woman went back up the stairs to the far platform. The man went back to his office.

Ren left the station. "What just happened?" He opened his wallet. "She was right. My money is still here. How?" He looked back at the staff. "They didn't have to help me like this. Maybe it's a rule?"

He checked the time. "I'm late. Hana will be angry." He took a map from his pocket and ran. Outside her house, Ren took a deep breath. "Relax. Sora told you what to say." He rang the doorbell.

"Hello?" Hana's voice came over the intercom.

"Hi. It's Ren," he said.

"Ren, just wait," Hana said. The intercom clicked off.

She didn't sound angry. Maybe I'm okay? Ren took out the dango from his backpack.

The door opened. "Come in, Ren," Hana said.

He stepped inside. Hana's mother was at the front entrance. "Welcome to our house, Ren. I'm Mrs. Tanaka. It's nice to meet you," she said.

Ren bowed and held up the bag of dango. "Honjitsu wa omaneki itadaki, arigatou gozaimasu," he said suddenly. "I'm sorry, I'm late."

Hana's mother smiled.

"You sound like a businessman." Hana laughed. "Who taught you that?"

"Sora told me to say that." Ren looked down. He still held out the bag of dango. I'm going to get him.

"It was very polite," said Hana's mother. "But a little formal for a friend's house."

Ren looked at Hana. "Is there a different level for everything?"

"Yes," said Hana. "Pretty much. Next time, say 'Ojama shimasu.' It means the same thing."

The bag of dango started to shake in Ren's hand.

"Wait until you're in the tatami room to give the dango," Hana whispered.

"How did you know it was dango?" whispered Ren back.

"I know that bag," said Hana.

Ren lowered the bag and took off his shoes.

"Wash your hands." Hana showed him the sink with a towel beside it.

Ren washed and dried his hands. Don't make a mess.

"Over here. Sit down on the zabuton." Hana brought Ren to the tatami room. Ren sat on a cushion. He set the bag of dango beside him.

When do I give these?

Hana's mother came into the room and put three cups of hot tea on the table. "Please make yourself comfortable," she said.

"You can give the dango now," whispered Hana.

"What do I say?" asked Ren.

Hana whispered. "You can say, 'It's nothing special.'"

Ren closed his fist.

He gave the bag to Hana's mother. "Here is a gift. It's nothing … special, but I hope you like them." The words felt strange.

She took the bag with both hands. "Thank you very much. We'll have them after lunch."

Ren watched her carry the dango into the kitchen. Why did I have to say that?

A man's voice came from behind the door. "When's lunch? I'm hungry." The door opened, and an older man came into the tatami room. He scratched his butt.

"Dad. I told you not to do that," Hana said.

"Oops. Sorry. I forgot your friend was coming today," he said. "Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Tanaka."

Ren stood and bowed deeply. "My name is Ren. Nice to meet you." He tried the phrase Hana taught him. "Ojama shimasu. Sorry, I'm late. I had trouble at the station." Ren was shaking.

"Please sit down," said Hana's father. He sat with a grunt. "Relax. What happened at the station?"

"I forgot my backpack on the train and had to wait until they brought it back to me," Ren said.

"Are you okay?" Hana asked.

Ren nodded. "But when I lost my backpack on the train, it really scared me," he said. "I got it back easily. Everybody was so helpful and polite. I'm surprised nobody stole it."

Hana's father laughed. "I forgot my phone on the express train to Nagoya last week. It took me a day to get it back. Mother was really angry at me."

"Wow! Back home, someone would definitely steal it," Ren said.

"Really," said Hana's father. "The trains are pretty safe. Bikes get stolen in Osaka, though."

"They do?" asked Ren. "That's terrible."

"I heard that a hundred bikes are stolen every day," said Hana.

"Maybe. I don't know if it's that many, but my friend's had three bikes stolen," said Hana's father. "The police found two of them. Japan isn't perfect, but it's a pretty safe country."

"Three bikes are a lot, but I think I understand," said Ren. "People are polite because they trust each other."

"That's part of it," said Hana's father.

Hana's mother came back with some green salad and bowls. "Help me set the table, Hana," she said.

"I'll help you," Ren said. He stood up.

"That's okay. You sit down," Hana said.

Ren sat back down, with his legs under him, and put his hands on his lap.

"Relax, Ren. Lunch will be simple," Hana's father said.

Hana brought some karaage and a bowl of soup. Her mother brought a potato salad and plates of curry rice.

Ren stared at all the food. This is simple? My Mom just makes sandwiches for lunch.

He picked up the spoon and put it in the curry.

Hana whispered in his ear. "Just wait until everyone is sitting down."

"Sorry," Ren said. Why do I keep making mistakes?

Her mother brought out some chopsticks and pickles.

"What are those?" Ren asked.

"Tsukemono. Pickled daikon. They go well with curry," said Hana.

Hana and her parents sat down at the small table on the floor. They clapped their hands together and said, 'itadakimasu.'

"Do you say 'itadakimasu' when you eat, Ren?" Hana's mother asked. She put some green salad into his bowl.

Ren nodded. "Yes. My mother says it." He looked at the salad. His mother always gave him a salad, but he never liked eating it.

Hana put a dressing on her salad. "Please eat, Ren. Take as much as you like."

Ren tried to remember what Sora had told him. He had to eat all the food in front of him and say it was delicious. So many things to remember. His stomach wasn't working very well.

The curry was a little spicy, with chicken, potatoes, carrots, and mushrooms. Ren stopped chewing. I hate mushrooms. What should I do?

"How is the curry, Ren?" Hana's mother asked.

Ren swallowed the curry quickly. "It's delicious." I can't tell her the truth.

"Thank you. Would you like some potato salad?" she asked.

"Umm, umm," Ren said. He started to shake.

"You should try some," Hana said.

This is too much. Hana's parents will hate me. He nodded. Hana's mother put some salad on his plate.

Hana put her hand on his knee. "Relax, Ren. If you don't like something, just tell us."

"I will," Ren said. He put some dressing on the salad and picked up his chopsticks. He tried the green salad. "I like the dressing."

"Thank you." Hana's mother hid a smile. "I made it this morning. Hana doesn't like salad, but she eats it when I make this dressing."

"Mom!" Hana said.

"You don't like salad?" Ren asked. We're the same.

"No. Mom makes me eat it," Hana said.

"My mother too," said Ren. He laughed.

Hana laughed with him.

Ren finished eating the salad and looked at the curry. Mushrooms were hiding in it. He could see two sticking out. Maybe if I push them to the side?

He took another bite of the curry. With no mushrooms, it was very good. His stomach started gurgling.

"Do you like mushrooms?" asked Hana's mother suddenly.

Ren jumped. "Umm, umm. No, not really," he said. His face turned red. That's it. They'll hate me.

"I love mushrooms," said Hana. "You should have told me. I can't take them now."

"Huh?" said Ren.

"I don't like mushrooms either," said Hana's father. "Hana always takes them from my plate as well." He handed his curry to Hana. She used a clean pair of chopsticks to take three mushrooms from his curry.

"Sorry," said Ren. Is it really okay to say something?

"It's okay," said Hana. "Just push them to the side. You don't have to be so polite."

"But won't your parents hate me?" Ren said. He covered his mouth. His face turned red.

Hana's father laughed softly. "Meeting new people is difficult, isn't it, Ren?"

Ren nodded. He said nothing.

"We are polite and helpful. If someone is in trouble, we help them. However, if you have a problem, please let us know. We won't get angry," Hana's father said.

Ren looked at the mushrooms pushed to the side of the plate. "Really?" Ren said in a small voice. Is that all I have to do?

"Really," Hana said. "I want you to have a good time."

"Okay, well." Ren took a deep breath. He was so worried about the rules. He forgot the other people sitting at the table. "The curry is very good, but I hate mushrooms," he said. The moment the words left his mouth, his stomach felt better.

"See. That wasn't hard," said Hana.

Hana's mother went to the kitchen. She brought back a small bowl and a small spoon. "Please put the mushrooms in here."

"Thank you," said Ren. He looked at the small bowl. He used the spoon to remove the mushrooms and put them in the bowl.

"Let's eat," said Hana.

Ren laughed. He was finally feeling hungry.

After lunch, Ren and Hana went to the TV room to play some video games. They played for two hours. Hana's parents stayed in the tatami room.

"You were very serious today, Ren," Hana said.

"I know." Ren kept his eyes on the screen. "Sora told me I had to be polite. I thought if I said the wrong thing, everybody would hate me." I'm going to punch him for that.

"He was probably joking." Hana laughed. "Did my parents hate you?"

Ren thought about it. "No. You might, especially when I beat you at Bario Kart for the third time."

"You're on," Hana said.

"Are you ready for tea?" Hana's mother asked. "Ren brought some dango."

"From the store near the station," said Hana's father. "Thanks. I love those dango."

Ren looked at his watch and took a deep breath. "Thank you very much, but I'm not hungry," he said.

"No problem," said Hana. "We can wait."

"No, it's okay. I have to go, anyway. I have soccer practice soon." Ren bowed to Hana's parents. "Thank you very much for the lunch. It was delicious."

"What about your dango?" asked Hana's mother.

"Please enjoy them," Ren said. They were special after all.

He went to the door.

"Thank you very much for coming," said Hana. "I had a great time."

"It was nice to meet you," said Hana's father.

"It was nice to meet you too. I had a great time too," said Ren. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Wait!" Hana's mother handed Ren a small package.

"What is this?" Ren asked. He took the package with two hands.

"Your dango. Please enjoy them after your soccer practice," she said.

"Really?" Ren's face turned red. He leaned toward Hana. "What do I say?" he whispered.

Hana mouthed 'thank you'.

"Thank you, Mrs. Tanaka," Ren said.

"No problem, dear. Good luck at practice," said Mrs. Tanaka.

"I'll walk you to the station," said Hana. She put on her shoes.

"Be careful," her parents said. "Come back again soon, Ren."

Outside Hana's house, Ren held his backpack close to his chest.

"Did you have a good time?" Hana asked. They walked toward the corner of the street and waited for two cars to pass.

Ren looked back at Hana's house. "Yes, I did. Some things in Japan are very different. I was really nervous, but your family was very nice."

"Thank you. Next time, relax a bit more," Hana said. "I still have to beat you at Bario Kart."

"I'll try." Ren laughed. "Let's go. I don't want to be late."

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